REALIZATIONS. It was the last month of the year. He had abandoned his writing for the sake of focusing on his studies. Did it help him at all? A little, maybe. As the year ended he learned a lot of things. He felt wonderful and very satisfied with what he had achieved in a very small amount of time. There was just so many things he had discovered, uncovered and recovered.
He knew more now than he did for the first ten months of 2009. The year had gone so fast and even until now, it had not sunken into him the fact that he had already ended school. He would not have to wear that white shirt with green pants anymore. No more would he have to slave over homework or work up a sweat just to get from one class to another. There were no more glares from teachers, gossips from classmates or even glances from schoolmates. It was not at all a fun idea; to him, at least.
He loved school. He knew that when the time came for him to leave it, he would be the most despaired. School was the only place he did not have to think about himself. School was the best distraction he could have ever asked for. School provided him with love, anger, happiness, sadness, annoyance, ignorance and a whole bunch of emotions. He loved every aspect of school. As much as he hated school when he was still in it, he now missed them all. The morning assemblies, the lines, the screaming teachers and the occasional mentioning of his name plus a whole lot of other things.
It was only two weeks go when he finished his exam. His final exam. He would rather not talk about it at all, as there was nothing really to talk about. Besides, it would not be any different if he did. One quote his father kept saying whenever something was out of order, "It doesn't matter, it's in the past" was something that he would apply in his life. Although, he did not make it his principle in life. He had come up with three tips to living a life worth living: never regret what you have done; never make promises; follow the first two tips. As comical as they may sound, they were the reason he could move on with his life until this very day, despite every heartache and heartbreak. He was not one to be regretful. What is in the past, has passed. Life goes on.
There were so many things to be mentioned, but the only ones worth mentioning were the fact that he was "glad". He could use a stronger word but what was true happiness? He felt at ease, with every thing falling into place. He had started attending Driving School. Not long after, he would be able to chauffeur his friends around, pick up his dates in his car or even just go for a relaxing drive by himself. He had also cleared some things up with a certain person. Every conversation they had, he would learn something new and important about her. It was awesome, the way they could communicate so freely and openly without a sense of discretion. He loved it.
He began to love more and more things as time passed. He grew fonder of the fact that he had time to kill, space to fit into and life to fulfill. Had he not taken on a more positive outlook on life, maybe he would not have seen things the way he did now. Before this, he only knew how to whine and sulk and think of himself as one big burden. But he had grown more as a person since then. He looked at life as a huge opportunity to have fun and live. Every breath is a chance to do something meaningful and worth doing. He may not grab every chance he had but he would do some that he thought was something that could bring him closer to happiness.
He did not want to be a pessimist; not anymore. He wanted to be an optimist; to look at the glass as half-full instead of half-empty. The Backwards Alphabet once spoke of positivity, and that everyone looked beautiful when they smiled. He held on to that principle, and he would always want to make people smile. Well, honestly, he would rather look at a beautiful person instead of an ugly one. However, beauty here did mean physically, but emotionally. Someone who is emotionally beautiful is someone who knows how beautiful emotions are.
At the end of the day, he realized that his heart, although burdened by the fact of prohibition, was feeling great. He loved the situation he was in at the moment. There was no more pressure from anywhere. Even if there was, he would not mine. Pressure equals motivation, and without motivation, nothing is achieved. He finally realized what life was all about. Though, this may only be the surface of the purpose of life. He was only seventeen. He still had a lot coming or him. All he knew now was that he was beginning to open his eyes to reality.
As his thoughts drifted away and his heart filled with delight, his very soul clenched its fists and prayed to God, hoping that the next chapter would be a better one.
